Family Ministry

Everywhere we look, we see statements like “Our children are leaving the church” and “Our congregations are shrinking.”  In fact, relatively recent research (2019) suggests that, in fact, 2 out of 3 young adults who attended church services for at least a year as a teenager also dropped out for at least a year as a young adult. 

I was one of those statistics. I joined the Army at 18 and didn’t darken the door of a building where the church met for the entire 4 years I was on active duty. But, when I returned home in 1988, I was welcomed back by my home congregation, got involved with the college group at the University of North Alabama, and have been attending somewhere regularly since.  Contrast that experience with those of my children James (24), Will (22), and Grace (21), who, while probably not attending every service, do attend regularly.  James and Will lead singing and preach sermons; Grace teaches a two-year old class, and regularly lead Bible studies in her college group. 

Am I naïve enough to believe that had they joined the Army at 18, they would have been regular attendees? Probably not, but I think the odds are good they would have been better than me.  I came from a split home, where one parent called themselves a Christian but no one that knew him would have believed it if he told them. I never talked about Christ at home with my mom, who was raising three rambunctious teenage boys, working two jobs, and completing her Master’s Degree during my teenage years. So, when I left my hometown, I left her faith—I hadn’t developed my own yet. 

My children have their own faith—we certainly don’t always agree (I’m usually more conservative than they are).  But we still discuss Godly matters, and did in our home for their entire childhood. We went to church services practically every time the doors opened, regularly went to singings and gospel meetings, and attended Lads to Leaders every year (whether they wanted to go or not), all while playing practically every sport and doing Cub/Girl/Boy Scouts. We read the Bible as a family at home, and prayed together regularly (again, even when they had rather been doing something else, and told me so) and reserved Sundays and Wednesday for worship and Bible study.    I certainly don’t have all the answers for why teenagers leave the church when they go to college, but I am convinced of one thing- our kids need to develop their own faith and we (as parents and fellow church members) are essential in that development.

Now let’s state that earlier statistic in a different way. 1 in 3 young adults who attended church services for at least a year as a teenager attended regularly from 18 to 22.  Those that did were asked why.  Their top reasons were they: 

1. Saw the church as an important part of their entire life 

2. Say the church was a vital part of their relationship with God 

3. Wanted the church to help guide their decisions in everyday life. 

4. Wanted to follow the example of a parent or other family member. 

5. Continued to attend because church activities were a big part of their life 

6. Felt church was helping them become a better person  

7. Were committed to the purpose and work of the church. 

They had their own faith.  God told Joshua in Joshua 1:7 to be strong and courageous and meditate on His word day and night.  As family minister, I hope to play a small part in every family’s efforts to help the children (and everyone else) in those families build their own faith. I look forward to working with you in those efforts.  Join us Sunday to better understand how we’ll do that together.** 

**Statistics in this article were derived from a poll conducted by Aaron Earls with Lifeway Research.

-David May, Family Minister